my 180

friday, july 24, 2009.

that’s when it happened. my 180. true I had repented and turned many months ago, but that was the day the Father had me realize that the 180 was complete. Psalm 30:2 states, "O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me." I have simply poured my heart out to the Father just like David. I have invited His divine hands to break me, mold me and make me into what He desires. my heart longs after Him. He is my glue.

how did this happen? the Word. the daily diving into the Word (coupled with prayer). Psalm 107:20, "He sent the word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions." yes, destructions – i.e. plural. meaning the path I was headed down had more than one snare I could have fallen into. seems King David had more than the one snare of being a whoremonger. if God can heal him why can’t He heal me?

He can only if I allow Him. Psalm 78:41 (this verse will change your life) reads, "Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and limited the Holy One of Israel." Scary! they turned back. they chose NOT to obey God fully. they tempted God. they also chose NOT to trust God fully. plus they limited the Holy One of Israel! they had compacted God into this neat little box. set Him on a shelf. and made Him watch them turn and tempt. they only needed Him for one thing. once that was complete, they disregarded Him all together. that one thing was deliverance. Israel was constantly getting into trouble and relying on God to deliver them. but God was big enough to deliver them AND keep them out of trouble so as to break the cycle!

that is my 180. I by no means am perfect. I am not prideful enough to say I can never return or will ever step away from my Saviour. but what I can tell you is that God Almighty has healed me. my thoughts are no longer plagued by my past life, though the devil tries from time to time (I Cor. 6:11). my desires have been transformed by the renewing of my mind (Rom. 12:2). I have willing placed myself, and continually, under God’s microscope (Prov. 1:23). and my greatest fear is to once again hurt my God and my Redeemer. should that be the fear of the Lord, then it is worth fearing (Prov. 2:5).

my God is so big, so strong and so mighty. there’s nothing my God cannot do. so true is that song. He IS strong enough to pull my sinful soul out of destruction. but ALSO strong enough to keep me close to Him. oh let me no longer limit the Holy One! may God receive the glory for what He has and will do with my life!

hiding His face

today its been hide and seek. me hiding. God seeking. God hiding. me seeking. its been this spiritual teeter-totter that is making me sick. I didn't have an appetite for lunch and there wasn't much of one for dinner. I am aware of when things are done in the flesh and then in the Spirit. this constant back and forth.

I can say along with David in Psalm 30:7, “LORD, by thy favour thou hast made my mountain to stand strong: thou didst hide thy face, and I was troubled.”

I know He is allowing me to see this as I must understand I can't get to the mission field of my own accord. not only TO the mission field but the daily path en-route to the mission field! my preaching is too self-illustrated right now to preach in any church. plus He is training me to trust in Him for simple monetary support. both at the same time. these lessons must be learned. I only want God's will so through this we must go.

lead on Oh Great Jehovah, lead on. even if as I follow, my face is hid in your bosom as only there I find support.

about face

though from a line of soldiers, I have never enlisted in the military. true my father's generation considered it a reasonable duty. mine, well I am a product of the 60's and raised in the 70's so not enlisting was an afront to the system. by the 80's, military service was passe' as the cold war continued. not until the 90's did one realize that military service was an honor and not a duty. today our military is lauded as heroes as daily they put their lives on the line for us. my grateful thank you to our servicemen.

today's post is a continuation of an earlier post (read learning to press below).

I have found the secret to obtaining the prize daily! it begins at I Peter 5:7, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” this ALL includes times of temptation. there is no other way to get through them. verse 8, “Be sober, be vigilent; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” if you watch throughout the day you will be aware of those time when the devil has approached you with temptation, and if you brushed them off thats when he's got you. the greater attack will come when you least expect it and then its over. you are his lunch!

now to verse 9, “Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.” ahem, you are NOT the center of the universe. the same temptation that you are afflicted with is the same that another brother or sister in Christ is rising above. it is at this time that obedience and submission to God should be first and foremost. not satisfying your flesh, which should be dead. another post for that.

finally in verses 10 and 11, “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be the glory and dominion for ever and ever, Amen.” the only way you become perfect, stablished, strengthened and settled is to submit and allow yourself to be purified by God's fire. He only allows the temptation in order for you to become a stronger Christian. and the only way you can become a stronger Christian is to be purified. one cannot withstand temptation while full of their dead self. God cannot get the glory He is due while Christians are full of themselves.

that's the clincher! God will get glory from you one way or another. it is so much easier to submit and allow yourself to give Him the glory while being purified, than to have Him wrangle it out of you. daily have an about face to the devil and towards God!