old friends

lo and behold I found out an old friend lives in my town. now this old friend knew me quite well prior to returning to God. she and I used to work together at a restaurant and did many things I am not proud of, nor willing to post.

the first thing the devil did was try to get me to return my thoughts to my past. once the Saviour defeated those thoughts, the devil launched into another immoral act. he said, well at least you can masterbate to memories. NO! Romans 12:1 tells us our body, including the mind, is a temple of the Lord.

this was the final giant from my past for God to defeat. it reminds me of David being used by God to smite Goliath in I Samuel 17. what is interesting is that David took 5 smooths stones. now no doubt he believed that God could kill him with just one, but Goliath had 4 brothers. only several years later did David and his mighty men defeat the remaining giants, II Samuel 21:22.

I can honestly say that God has cleaned me up - from the inside out. it is humbling to know that God has extended grace, provided mercy, and in lovingkindness has cleaned up this sinner. then on top of that has led me in His path. Psalm 25:8 tells us that God will teach sinners in the way. David was all too familiar with God's classroom as am I. but the coolest part is that God is willing to teach sinners if the sinner is willing to be taught. it just has to be in His time and in His way.

lessons from Balaam

found in Numbers 22

lesson one: do no less and no more than what God as ordered and approved for your specific task, verse 18.

lesson two: to see God more fully you must first humble yourself (a simple beast of burden saw the angel of the Lord first), verse 25.

lesson three: be willing to let God use you for anything He desires (even God can use a beast of burden to speak, but it still had to carry his owner the rest of the journey), verse 28.

lesson four: confession only draws you closer to God and brings you back into His way, verse 34.

lesson five: speak only what God has told you to say – no less and no more, verse 38.

where I struggle the most

My Mind...
the devil consistently regurgitates past experiences in hopes of either luring me back or to just turn away even for a moment from my Saviour's face. it is at those times I lean more firmly on the Saviour from whom I obtain strength to resist. Praise God!

My Pride...
I am fully aware this was the stone that started the downward spiral. the devil knew exactly where to lodge the best offense and I listened. God has effectively been working on my pride. even from sources other that the Bible. the book Humility was only the jumping off point. pride centers around I and what I can do. God is in no need of an I in His work. He only needs willing vessels who realize that He does not necessarily need them, but has chosen to use them. if only to give glory and praise to Him once He has worked.

blessings

many times we seem to forget the many blessings God brings along our path. sometimes those blessings come in the form of other Christians and the kindness with which they show you. I am thank for those Christians and the blessings they allowed to flow through them from God. Thank you for being willing to be used.